_{ORIGINALGRILLA.}

_{‘     yo,   whatever.    least i didn’t  drown my hamster.    you got any more  confessions  i should know about ?    birds keelin’ over,   guinea pigs who up ‘n disappeared    —    ?     ’       he’s still messing with her.    actually started to consider getting her a dog,   for good measure ;   nothing like a set of teeth and claws to deter assholes from making a move.       ‘     i mean,   if you need a  lawyer    –––––––     ’}

_{❛     me neither,  asswipe !    hamsters ain’t  supposed  t’ get wet.    they got these oils in their fur that keep ‘em  happy ‘n healthy.    they’re small ‘n catch colds real easy,  too,  which is what happened t’ meatball ‘n what’s  gonna  happen t’ you if you don’t shut’cha  face !    let meatball rest in peace.     ❜}

_{ORIGINALGRILLA.}

_{the second time.    the first was kallie,   dead for weeks,   no face.    he’d waited to tell her ;   waited for a right time that didn’t exist.    and skinner    —    that wasn’t a deliberate lie,   not even by omission.    that was a sick,   perverse kind of injustice beyond his capacity to fix.    nobody  talks about skinner.    city hall has seattle pd by the throat.}

_{maybe,   despite the inevitable shitstorm,   they should have gone public regardless.    for ashley kwon and angie gower and all the rest of those girls.    for kallie.}

_{for bullet.} 

_{maybe it’s  worth  losing his badge,   his job,   his credibility.    maybe    –––––––}

_{too little,   too late.    there’s nothing he can dish out now that won’t sound like an  excuse,   and bullet deserves better than that.    all those girls deserve better than that.}

_{‘     he gets  high    —    ?    the hell kinda people you been hangin’ out with ?     ’       disapproval has to be reined in,   like he has to stop and remind himself that she’s not his kid.    a sheet of paper that says she’s his legal responsibility means  nothing  to a teenager who’s been out on her own for the better part of three years.    he rolls his stress ball across the desk towards him,   picks it up,   right hand flexing into a fist around it.}

_{‘     whatever.    beat his ass anyway.    i don’t give a  fuck  who he’s friends with.     ’}

_{❛     the fuck does  that  matter ?     ❜}

_{quick to bite back.    protect and defend her friends against police scrutiny and even  steer them sour  if she has to.    to make up for  ratting on goldie,  even if the pussy - ass little bitch deserved it.    to build her reputation back from the ground up.    she’s on  thin ice  associating with the police as it is.    poochie doesn’t trust her like he once did,  which isn’t saying much,  but it  means something  to have the respect of your peers.    you can’t do much without it.}

_{she  screwed up  when she told holder about sneaking into goldie’s place.    screwed up telling him about lyric and now,  she almost did it again.     ❛     –––––     ain’t none of yo’ business what he does,  ‘n neither’s who i’m hangin’ out with.     ❜     sometimes,  she forgets.}

_{forgets who he is.    what he does for a living.    that badge and that gun on his hip.    it might as well be  tattooed  on his forehead.    police.    working homicide doesn’t strip him of his right as an officer to make an arrest on whatever grounds he wants to.    it just means he’s less inclined to do so.    poochie gave her that spiel,  and she told him he’s just paranoid.    smoked some bad dope.    but he’s right.}

_{on the streets,  everyone abides by one law.    no cops.}

_{❛     forget i said anything,  a’ight ?    it don’t matter.    ain’t worth the trouble.    ‘sides,  i’ve been savin’ him the  ass - whoopin’  for when he actually deserves it.     ❜}

_{ORIGINALGRILLA.}

_{‘     listen ‘n learn,   grasshopper.     ’       an expert on  ribbing,   evidently.    everything with potential value is open for debate.       ‘     so what happened,   you leave him in there too long ?   he catch a cold ?    don’t beat yourself up    —    i had like  fifteen fish  die on my watch when i was a wee one.     ’}

_{❛     –––––     eat me.     ❜     five years later and bullet still jumps to the defense over meatball.    she  does  feel bad about it,  though.    (    always has.    )    that frosty exterior isn’t fooling anyone.     ❛     …  that on record ?    ‘cause i’m pretty sure cps might have somethin’ t’ say about it.    stupid motherfucker can’t even  keep a fish alive  ‘n we’re trusting him with a kid ?    that’s what they’ll say,  yo.    bet !     ❜}

_{CRAVESFREEDOM.}

                     ^{❛  duly noted.  ❜ he clears his throat from the bit of second-hand smoke he’s just inhaled. can he actually keep his lips sealed ?  ;  it’s a question of which of the jensen’s WRATH he’d rather face,  ❛ well, — since you like animals, let’s talk about my favorite FUZZY serial killer  ;  the prairie dog. ❜  a dramatic pause, waiting for her unimpressed expression to lift,  ❛ —- total herbivores, but they routinely MURDER their competition: the ground squirrel.  ❜  a chuckle presses past his lips, almost nervous,  ❛  i would go into detail on how, but it’s probably too graphic.  ❜}

_{audrey’s a force to be reckoned with.    but so is she.    it all seems so  trivial  in hindsight.    lakewood has a lot more to worry about than underaged smokers,  and  audrey  probably has more  important matters  on her mind than what bullet’s doing to her lungs.     ❛     no shit ?    knew they were tough li’l fuckers.    didn’t think they were  killers.     ❜     animals facts.    the one thing that  never fails  to spark interest and keep the conversation above water.    mostly.     (    and it’s worth mentioning that she  noticed  that.    how could she not,  when his little  nervous tics  are staring her right in the face ?    she almost cracked a smile.    )     ❛    aw,  don’t hold out on me like that !    i think i’m man enough t’ handle it.    y’ know the  bubonic plague  can still wipe out entire  colonies  of prairie dogs,  right ?    it’s  sick.     ❜}

fightersuggestion:

pick yourself up. it’s your fight, go finish what you started.

_{❛     you  tell her  about this,  i’ll kick your  ass.    ❜     she shouldn’t be smoking,  but she is.    hand cupped around the spark of a flame,  tobacco burning.    listless gaze levels while pocketing the lighter and exhaling,  courteous enough to keep from blowing it in his face.     ❛     …  got any more trivia for me ?     ❜     //  @cravesfreedom}

_{ORIGINALGRILLA.}

_{‘     but if you stop ‘n  reflect,   all that shit’s piled up in the same sandbox.    afraid,   panicked,   pissed off    —    whatever.    adrenaline don’t discriminate.    it’s the  rush  that’ll make you stupid.     ’       the laugh that comes unsolicited almost makes him choke on a lung full of cigarette smoke.       ‘     what’d you do,   get him stuck on his li’l hamster wheel ?    negligent homicide    —    ?     ’}

_{❛     damn.    you some kinda  expert ?     ❜    expression drops into a deadpan stare,  the barest trace of amusement lingering behind.     ❛     ha - ha,  very funny.    nah,  but f’ real,  it wasn’t my fault !    how was i supposed t’ know you didn’t have t’ give ‘em a bath ?    i was  ten,  yo !     ❜}

blooodchild:

I shoulda picked up. I shoulda called her back.

_{ORIGINALGRILLA.}

_{linden had said it herself,   right after :   he didn’t have to stick around.   didn’t  have  to help cover it up.    he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t regretted it,   more than a few times,   during the weeks that followed    —    but he’d like to believe she would have done the same for him.}

_{they’re partners.    that’s how it works.}

_{you got the bad guy.}

_{‘     i’m tellin’ you  now.     ’       minus all the technical details,   because she probably couldn’t give a shit about those.    the paperwork,   the politics.    the unidentified bodies with  jane doe  written on their toe tags.    the fact that he’s sick of looking at dead girls.}

_{his expression hardens,   then softens a little,   within a split second’s reaction time.       ‘     beat  his sorry ass,   y’ hear ?    you ain’t gotta listen to that.     ’}

_{❛     yeah,  ‘n i guess you think that makes up for keepin’ me in the dark ?    ‘cause it don’t.    that’s the  second time  you ain’t told me somethin’.     ❜}

_{as if bullet  herself  is an open book.    there are some truths she hasn’t been  honest about,  too.    truths she’d be ashamed to reveal,  not just to him,  but to anyone.    like dropping her last twenty on whatever the hell she could get with it,  with  intent  to load her veins full of poison until she couldn’t feel the pang of hurt and rejection and humiliation buried in her chest.    she isn’t the adult,  though.}

_{she’s just a kid who hates  not knowing.    the truth hurts,  but it’s better than a lie.}

_{the silence is comfortable.    she isn’t.    more self - aware than she had been in the past couple of days,  conscious of the scarring and how it makes her look.    she couldn’t fight him off.    wasn’t strong enough.    (    she’s tired of people feeling  sorry  for her,  tired of the questions and taunts and the  ‘ let me see ! ’  whenever word travels.    )}

_{❛     yo,  he was just messin’ around.    he gets high ‘n says stupid shit like he gets paid t’ do it or somethin’.    poochie’s friends are all like that.    ain’t no big deal.     ❜}

_{still cracked him in the jaw on principle,  though     –––––}

_{ORIGINALGRILLA.}

_{‘     think they call that  hysterical strength.    only happens in life or death situations,   when your brain snaps into  overdrive.    people can do some pretty fucked up shit when they’re scared.     ’       it’s a good measure of what someone’s  truly  capable of    —    but with any luck,   most of them won’t ever find out.       ‘     naw !   you gotta take ‘em two or three at a time.    my scrawny ass would’a got  dragged  down the damn street if i tried takin’ seven bully breeds for a stroll.    your folks ever let’cha have a dog ?     ’}

_{❛     yeah,  but what about when they’re not ?    ain’t always gotta be  scared of somethin’  t’ get that adrenaline rush ‘n kick some  serious  ass.    i mean,  it’s kinda better if you’re not afraid,  ain’t it ?    fear makes you stupid.     ❜     she shrugs,  hands pocketed.     ❛     p’ft.    you kiddin’ ?    hell no.    said i wasn’t  responsible  or whatever ‘cause they got me a hamster when i was  ten  ‘n it died.    its name was meatball.     ❜     yes,  she did cry.    (    in private.    )}