mattyddario:

_{i don’t talk to cops.}

_{ORIGINALGRILLA :   bugs.}

_{‘     nah,   i mean    —    don’t  matter  if we’re supposed to be civilized,   y’ know what i’m sayin’ ?    people still kill each other.     ’       it’s a quick recovery from a careless remark,   almost a throwback to what linden once called him out on :   he doesn’t  have  to share  EVERY THOUGHT  that runs through his head.}

_{the micro - expressions her face works through are as obvious as his own lack of foresight,   but the connotations are worse.   bitter,   like the taste in his mouth.}

_{he probably shouldn’t let her smoke in here ;   he does anyway.    she’s not the type who needs permission.}

_{another chuckle,   grin obscured by the smoky haze of his last drag.       ‘     it’s  FREEZE - DRIED.    it don’t count.    you want breakfast,   or not ?    i’m starvin’.     ’}

_{❛     people do  lots’a  stupid ass shit.    ‘n most of ‘em don’t even got a good reason     –––––     ain’t worth  twenty - five t’ life  jus’ ‘cause some  idiot  pissed in your  cheerios.     ❜}

_{there’s no shortage of  scumbags  in seattle.    no shortage of bad guys,  no shortage of crimes.    but,  she can count on one hand how many of them she would  kill  with bare hands and     (     a seemingly     )     guilt - free conscience.    it goes without saying,  that’s one line even  bullet  is hesitant to cross.}

_{(     why ?    he deserves it.    rapist piece of shit.     )}

_{another pull of smoke and nicotine to ease the nerves.    she finally acknowledges the pang of  hunger,  despite being so accustomed to it.    meals were never guaranteed before.}

_{❛     yeah.    …  but i don’t want no  nasty  egg whites ‘n turkey bacon or whatever.    shit tastes like grilled ass.     ❜}

_{ORIGINALGRILLA :   bugs.}

_{‘     yeah.    she’ll snap under stress,   too.    ‘n then you got the  feral  ones,   dad killin’ off his own litter to get moms back in heat.    don’t happen like that once they been domesticated    —    can’t say the same for all us  two - legged  fools.     ’       catching that glance,   he fishes out what’s left of a pack of victories from his pocket and tosses it onto the couch beside her.}    

_{leans back again,   head canted,   remembering the line she’d dropped about  zoology class.    tough to picture her at a boarding school,   but maybe that’s the point.    he lets out a low chuckle,   tapping his cigarette over the ashtray.}

_{‘     laugh it up,   bullet.    CHOLESTEROL  is comin’ for your ass,   just wait’ll y’ find your first grey hair.    besides    —    i don’t eat meat.     ’}

_{❛     …   y’ tellin’ me you worked a case where the dad killed his  kids  ‘cause he wanted t’  get some ?     ❜}

_{she isn’t at the edge of her seat.    hopes he might leave the conversation there.    segue into something a little more her style.     (     bullet isn’t the first who’s suffered at the hands of a man and she won’t be the last.    she can’t feel  bad for herself  when there are others who have had it worse.    who have lost more.    it’s not fair to them.    is it ?     )}

_{two cigarettes are appropriated from the pack,  one tucked snug behind her ear while the other greets a flame.}

_{❛     when’d you find yours ?    sixty - five million years ago when  dinosaurs  were roamin’ earth ?     ❜     leaning forward,  she picks up an ashtray from the coffee table and re - situates,  left leg hooked over the armrest,  to balance it on her knee.     ❛     bullshit.    sausage ain’t vegetarian friendly,  dumbass.    who you think you’re try’na fool ?     ❜}

_{ORIGINALGRILLA :   bugs.}

_{‘     ain’t nobody messin’ with it up in here.    i am  clean  as a whistle.    all i’m sayin’ is,   you’re gonna be  beggin’  for them painkillers before sun - up with this cold turkey shit.    believe that.    ’       weight shifts,   exhale releasing plumes of smoke that don’t quite settle in the dim,   yellowish light.       ‘     y’ gotta slow it down,   you know,   wean  yo’self.    like  cats.     ’}

_{like he didn’t do a few lines just weeks ago.    like the pressure of  NOT KNOWING  didn’t have him climbing the fucking walls and knocking back ten drinks too many.    she woke up :   that’s what counts.    she  lived.}

_{‘     —    again with that processed,   reprocessed,   artificially flavored carcinogenic crap.    i’m talkin’  real  food,   not the kind you been chokin’ down with a little five - finger discount.     ’}

_{❛     –––––     ain’t that what they  all  say ?     ❜     fronts like she  hadn’t  bought dope off the street,  dejected and broken - hearted,  mere hours before she made one last desperate attempt to help.     (     like she didn’t have the intention of loading herself up with poison,  only to find a better use for it.     )     didn’t even know the slang when poochie asked if she wanted  points,  or something else.}

_{truth is,  she wanted numb.    wanted to relieve the pressure of anger and betrayal crushing her sternum.}

_{❛     cats sometimes kill and eat their kittens.    the ones that’re sick ‘n stuff.    but,  like …  okay,  so you’ve got this queen,  right ?    feelin’  threatened,  can’t  hide  no where ‘n so she  eats ‘em  ‘cause that’s the only way she can protect ‘em from predators.    ‘n she’ll also eat the dead ones so the others don’t get no diseases.     ❜}

_{she pauses,  eyeing the cigarette hanging from his mouth.}

_{❛     quit trippin’.    i’ll eat what i eat.    ‘cause unlike your crusty ass,  youth’s  still on my side.    bet you couldn’t even scarf down  a double cheeseburger  without bitchin’ ‘bout your  cholesterol  or somethin’.     ❜}

_{ORIGINALGRILLA :   bugs.}

_{junkyard little bitch.    i don’t give a shit about you.    there’s no 12 step program to atone for what was said,   and an apology would most likely be met with a well - deserved  fuck you.    he shakes a cigarette loose,   lights up as he leans back against the counter island.       ‘     don’t judge a book by its cover,   li’l man.    gonna mess up your chi.    i got hooked,   i got clean,   blah blah blah.    at least take ‘em,   uh,   antibiotics    —    you hungry ?     ’}

_{trust your instinct,  girl.    nothin’ else.    that’s the piece of profound advice she’d been given her first week living on the streets,  free of charge.     (     what you see is what you get ‘round here.     )}     

_{he says not to judge a book by its cover and she can’t help but think it’s a little too late for that.    wants  to tell him to shove the philosophical bullshit up his ass.    she doesn’t feel for him.    doesn’t have enough sympathy to spare for tweakers.    figures he wouldn’t want it,  anyhow.     ❛     you ever go back t’ that crap,  i’ll kick your skinny white ass up ‘n down th’  block.    i don’t mess with that shit.    don’t even like messin’ with the people who do.     ❜     it’s hard to avoid,  though.    everyone’s got their  addictions.}

_{❛     –––––    nah.    already ate.    lays dill pickle chips are the  bomb,  yo,  f’real.    you ever tried ‘em ?     ❜}

mattyddario:

_{presa canario. it’s a big, nasty ass guard dog.}

_{ORIGINALGRILLA :   bugs.}

_{‘     ain’t too late t’ give cps a call.    few days in,   my dojo be lookin’ like  club med.    hey,   they’re your pills    —    dump ‘em,   sell ‘em,   whatever.   just don’t wake up itchin’ for a fix the next time those ribs start achin’ like a motherfucker.     ’}

_{❛     go ahead.    ain’t that what you were  plannin’  on doing before,  anyway ?    buryin’  my ass in the foster - care system ?    or did’ja  pussy out ?     ❜     she scoffs at him,  scowling the entire time it takes to situate comfortably on the couch.     ❛     –––––     morphine ain’t worth  jack  on the fuckin’ street,  yo.    ‘n what the hell would  you  know about itchin’ for a fix ?    y’ don’t look like no tweaker.     ❜}

_{ORIGINALGRILLA :   bugs.}

_{‘     chill out.   ’m not your  PAROLE OFFICER.   you,   uh    —    take your meds tonight ?     ’}

_{❛     nah,  you’re just the stupid  sonuvabitch  they stuck me with ‘cause no one  else  could deal.    …  don’t need t’ take ‘em anymore.    whatever.    dump ‘em.     ❜}

_{ORIGINALGRILLA :   bugs.}

_{‘     you don’t gotta keep  sneakin’ around,   bullet.   there ain’t no curfew.     ’       @junkyardteen.}

_{❛     –––––     !    the hell are you  talkin’  about ?    i wasn’t sneakin’  nowhere.     ❜     she plays off being startled with relative ease.    didn’t even  swing on him  this time.}