junkyardteen-blog1

BLOODLETTERED.

she  closes  her  eyes  briefly  as  her  sister  raises  her  voice,         knowing  how  much  it  probably  pains  her  to  speak  that  way.        &      so  badly,      she  wants  to  tell  her  to  stop  AGAIN,        only  to  go  against  her  wishes  to  not  tell  her  what  to  do.         she  can’t  help  it     ;      it’s  in  her  nature  to  be  protective  of  those  close  to  her.          even  if  they  hadn’t  been  close  in  YEARS  ——   rachel  was  the  most  important  person  to  her.          she  wants  her  to  be  BETTER       (     she  needs  it    ).         she  looks  back  at  her,       scoffing  at  her   attempt      &      keeping  the  cigarette  away  from  her.         she  wasn’t  going  to  let  her  continue,        not  when  she  is  like  this.        ❛    do  you  really  think  that’s  what  this  is  about?       i  don’t  care  that  you’re  in  my  room   —–     ❜          though  part  of  her  did  wonder  why,        but  she  isn’t  mad.        she  finds  it  strangely  endearing  that  she’s  here.         ❛       why  are  you  always  doing  this?     why  are  you  constantly  trying  to  risk  your  life?          it  can’t  be  fun  to  be  this  reckless  all   the  time,         is  it?     ❜

she  isn’t.    despite what everyone else might believe.    all those  preconceived notions  about living on the streets,  what it  does  to a person     –––––     they’re all true.    the past  three years  have taught her a lot about taking  risks,  and there’s a sick  irony  here that she feels the need to  point out.    audrey doesn’t have a leg to  stand on.    she tries to imagine a world where the roles were  reversed.    where  her  friends were the ones being terrorised and  slaughtered.    waking up,  fearing what the day will bring.    wondering who’s going to die  next.    tries putting herself in audrey’s shoes,  the minute that trunk  unlatched  and she found her sister laying there,  still as a corpse,  blood  soaking through into the upholstery.    it’s a gut - wrenching thought.    maybe,  in this parallel universe,  bullet would be going to the  ends of the earth  to  protect  her.    (    as if she isn’t doing so already.    it’s the  only reason  she hasn’t left home and found her way back to skid row,  slit throat or no slit throat.    audrey’s  worried  about her,  and all the while she can’t help but think that she’s the one who needs protecting.    the killer  didn’t just attack bullet.    he attacked audrey  through  bullet,  deliberately,  to taunt her.     )     she looks up.    doesn’t quite know  how  to respond without dishing out  sarcasm.     ❛     the hell would  you  know about havin’  fun ?    you’re so goddamn stressed out,  your hair’s turnin’  silver.    you ever quit worryin’ about  other people  ‘n start worryin’ ‘bout yourself for a change ?     ❜