_{ORIGINALGRILLA :   bugs.}

_{‘     couple weeks before you woke up.     ’       say it straight,   even if it pisses her off    —    that’s always been the best policy.    not that it soothes the sting,   but he’s never been one for using kid gloves.    linden’s better at that  bedside manner  shit than he is.    he leans against the edge of the desk,   fidgeting with the case file in his hands,   gaze angled towards her.       ‘     you okay ?    smoke,   if you want.    nobody’s gotta know.     ’}

_{and there it is.    anger     (     something real and raw and unforgiving     )     boiling in her veins,  white hot.    he isn’t the pied piper and kallie’s blood isn’t on his hands,  but the way she  looked  at him could have convinced anyone of the opposite.     ❛    ‘n you didn’t think t’  bring that up ?    that you  found  her …  that you found my  best friend  in some kinda     –––––     ❜     the cut - off is abrupt and decidedly for the better,  lest she scream herself hoarse.}

_{ORIGINALGRILLA :   bugs.}

_{‘     pulled some more bodies out of the lake,   and    —    kallie was one of ‘em.    think she’d been down there a while.     ’       doesn’t matter if she already  knew :   no amount of resignation or resolve can prepare someone for that excruciating moment when it all becomes  REAL.       ‘     if,   uh    —    if you wanna see her,   you know.    i can find out where she’s buried.     ’       a long,   tense silence.       ‘     ’m sorry.     ’}

_{she expected to  feel  something.    sadness.    overbearing grief.    something other than  numb.    something real and raw and unforgiving,  or at least something  human.    maybe she doesn’t notice it at first,  but her hands start to tremble as pulls a cigarette from behind her ear.    you can’t smoke in here.    she swallows thickly.     ❛     when did you find her body ?     ❜     her voice sounds childlike and small.}

_{ORIGINALGRILLA :   bugs.}

_{‘     yo,   linden’s my bff.    that’s  all inclusive.    we share  everything.     ’       banter cut short when the file drops,   and he’s out of his seat to snag it before bullet can see more than she already has.    he grasps to find the words,   coming up short.    weight shifts uncomfortably.       ‘     yeah,   listen    —    there’s,   uh.    somethin’ you should know.    about kallie.     ’}

_{a breath into asking who the girl is when he confiscates both file and photo.    the tension sets her on edge,  exacerbating the fear that she’s been harbouring all this time,  concealed and never spoken of.     (     kallie is dead.    she knows in heart and soul.    but she had faith.    a sliver of hope that says,  maybe she survived,  like you did.     )     there’s a visible shred of hesitation before she looks at him,  waiting for him to deliver the final blow.}

_{ORIGINALGRILLA :   bugs.}

_{‘     slim pickens,   bullet.    get’cha damn feet off my case files.     ’       kallie’s autopsy report is buried somewhere in their midst.    maybe that’s why he can’t quite sit still.       ‘     anybody,   uh    —    anybody on your block talkin’ about her ?     ’}

_{❛     ain’t this  linden’s  desk ?    ain’t got no jurisdiction over here,  homie.    stay in yo’ lane.     ❜     indignant,  she keeps her feet up,  crossed at the ankles,  paying no mind to the files beneath them until  one  slips off and down to the floor.     ❛     nah.    jus’ rumours ‘n stuff.    shit   –––   my bad.    didn’t mean t’ do that.     ❜     regrets picking up the notes when she glimpses an  autopsy  photo,  and morbidly wonders if that would have been  her.}

_{ORIGINALGRILLA :   bugs.}

_{‘     you come all the way down here for ‘em dusty - ass vending machines,   ‘n you ain’t even got funyuns ?     ’}

_{❛     nah     –––––     all you guys got is stupid  off - brand shit  that tastes like  soap.    besides,  lay’s  is where it’s at.    original,  salt ‘n vinegar,  barbecue…  kallie liked them sour cream ‘n onion ones.     ❜     she drops down into the chair opposite of him,  boots kicked up onto the desk and sprinkling small clots of  dirt  from the soles.}

_{❛     this  crap  ain’t worth  seventy - five cents.    i want my money back,  f’real.     ❜}     @originalgrilla

_{ORIGINALGRILLA :   bugs.}

_{‘     once caught a case where some janky - ass  speed freak  plugged his neighbor with a nine mil ‘cause he let his  dog  take a piss on the lawn.     ’}

_{holder has a body count attached to his name    —    but  officer involved shooting  isn’t the same as cold - blooded murder,   right ?       (   linden knows how blurred that line can get when you’re against the grain.    knows how it feels to be pushed into the role of judge,   jury,   and executioner.    he wouldn’t wish it on anyone.   )}

_{you don’t come back from that.}

_{‘     you a  GRILLED ASS  connoisseur now ?    the  hell  they been feedin’ you at beacon ?     ’       not much of  anything  these days,   since the shelter closed its doors to the huddled masses.       ‘     –––––    yo,   whatever,   i got  standards.    i be straight - up  dominatin’  with my culinary prowess.     ’}

_{❛     yo,  that’s fucked up.    how many cases you get like that ?     ❜     can’t imagine working homicide as anything other than a waking nightmare.    she’d like to think she’d be a good detective,  but she’s still only fifteen,  and the job lacks appeal to someone who’s already struggling to see the good in people as it is.}

_{❛     …  ain’t namin’ no  names,  but i heard about these douchebags who beat the  hell  outta this girl ‘cause she was doped up ‘n talkin’  mad  stupid shit.    ain’t sayin’ she deserved it or nothin’,  but damn     –––––     fight the battles you know you can win.    don’t go around  lookin’  for trouble like that.    get’cha ass killed  real quick.     ❜}

_{her first year on the street taught her more than twelve more months of  elite education  ever could.}     

_{❛     had this  thing  goin’ for a while.    think pastor mike forgot we had tastebuds.     ❜     she takes a drag,  ashes her cigarette,  then droops back against the sofa and allows her bones to rest.     (     the ashtray teeters,  but she catches it before it slides off.    barely.     )     ❛     that’s the kinda shit people be sayin’ before they poison you.     ❜}

_{ORIGINALGRILLA :   bugs.}

_{‘     nah,   i mean    —    don’t  matter  if we’re supposed to be civilized,   y’ know what i’m sayin’ ?    people still kill each other.     ’       it’s a quick recovery from a careless remark,   almost a throwback to what linden once called him out on :   he doesn’t  have  to share  EVERY THOUGHT  that runs through his head.}

_{the micro - expressions her face works through are as obvious as his own lack of foresight,   but the connotations are worse.   bitter,   like the taste in his mouth.}

_{he probably shouldn’t let her smoke in here ;   he does anyway.    she’s not the type who needs permission.}

_{another chuckle,   grin obscured by the smoky haze of his last drag.       ‘     it’s  FREEZE - DRIED.    it don’t count.    you want breakfast,   or not ?    i’m starvin’.     ’}

_{❛     people do  lots’a  stupid ass shit.    ‘n most of ‘em don’t even got a good reason     –––––     ain’t worth  twenty - five t’ life  jus’ ‘cause some  idiot  pissed in your  cheerios.     ❜}

_{there’s no shortage of  scumbags  in seattle.    no shortage of bad guys,  no shortage of crimes.    but,  she can count on one hand how many of them she would  kill  with bare hands and     (     a seemingly     )     guilt - free conscience.    it goes without saying,  that’s one line even  bullet  is hesitant to cross.}

_{(     why ?    he deserves it.    rapist piece of shit.     )}

_{another pull of smoke and nicotine to ease the nerves.    she finally acknowledges the pang of  hunger,  despite being so accustomed to it.    meals were never guaranteed before.}

_{❛     yeah.    …  but i don’t want no  nasty  egg whites ‘n turkey bacon or whatever.    shit tastes like grilled ass.     ❜}

_{ORIGINALGRILLA :   bugs.}

_{‘     yeah.    she’ll snap under stress,   too.    ‘n then you got the  feral  ones,   dad killin’ off his own litter to get moms back in heat.    don’t happen like that once they been domesticated    —    can’t say the same for all us  two - legged  fools.     ’       catching that glance,   he fishes out what’s left of a pack of victories from his pocket and tosses it onto the couch beside her.}    

_{leans back again,   head canted,   remembering the line she’d dropped about  zoology class.    tough to picture her at a boarding school,   but maybe that’s the point.    he lets out a low chuckle,   tapping his cigarette over the ashtray.}

_{‘     laugh it up,   bullet.    CHOLESTEROL  is comin’ for your ass,   just wait’ll y’ find your first grey hair.    besides    —    i don’t eat meat.     ’}

_{❛     …   y’ tellin’ me you worked a case where the dad killed his  kids  ‘cause he wanted t’  get some ?     ❜}

_{she isn’t at the edge of her seat.    hopes he might leave the conversation there.    segue into something a little more her style.     (     bullet isn’t the first who’s suffered at the hands of a man and she won’t be the last.    she can’t feel  bad for herself  when there are others who have had it worse.    who have lost more.    it’s not fair to them.    is it ?     )}

_{two cigarettes are appropriated from the pack,  one tucked snug behind her ear while the other greets a flame.}

_{❛     when’d you find yours ?    sixty - five million years ago when  dinosaurs  were roamin’ earth ?     ❜     leaning forward,  she picks up an ashtray from the coffee table and re - situates,  left leg hooked over the armrest,  to balance it on her knee.     ❛     bullshit.    sausage ain’t vegetarian friendly,  dumbass.    who you think you’re try’na fool ?     ❜}