_DEADHUNGER.

_{‘     yeah ?    was she any good ?     ’       he can practically  see  the look letha would give him for that.    shoulders roll in a shrug,   arms folded,   he’s got raised brows and a whole wide world of time to kill.       ‘     incredible.    you shiv me in the fucking throat and suddenly  I’M  the asshole.    what kind of next level bullshit    –––––––     ’}

_{❛     ain’t nothin’ t’ write  home  about.    heard yo’ momma was a freak,  though !     ❜     there’d be  blood  on the pavement if she was spitting this kind of trash talk to anyone else.    girlfriends,  mothers.    off - limits,  unless you’re asking to get decked in the mouth.     ❛     the hell’d you expect ?    wasn’t gonna let some creepy mammoth punk me in an  alley !    got what was comin’ to ya,  asswipe.     ❜}

_{ORIGINALGRILLA.}

_{‘     i don’t give a shit  how  you dress,   as long as you  show.     ’        he’s hedging,   because he doesn’t have an answer :   not with any real certainty.    when he signed on the dotted line,   the terms and conditions of guardianship were  TEMPORARY.    pending recovery,   blah,   blah.}

_{it really depends on your definition of recovery.}

_{but he wants to see her in a group home about as much as she wants to  be in  one    —    so he’ll fight it,   if he has to.    bend the rules.    work the system.    even if all that does is buy her a little more time.}

_{‘     look,   uh    —    if you wanna stick around,   we’ll stall ‘em,   alright ?    tell ‘em some sob story about bed - rest ‘n whatnot.    ain’t gonna let anybody  snatch your ass up,   don’t you worry ‘bout that.     ’}

_{❛    good.    ‘cause i don’t got a suit.     ❜     humourless,  dry as the fucking  sahara.    breathes smoke into her lungs and tries not to imagine what  life  is going to be like on the inside.    (    group home is just another synonym for a three year  prison  sentence.    )}    

_{she doesn’t want her name to be spoken of in pity.    another kid picked up off the street.    forced to abandon the lifestyle and surrender the  freedom.    her  bones  don’t ache like they used to and her body bears  scars  in place of bruises and contusions,  but recovered means of sound mind and health.    nothing about her is sound.}

_{❛     bullshit.    you can’t  stall ‘em  forever.    soon as the doc  signs off  on it,  they’re gonna slam - dunk my ass in the system ‘n that’s gonna be it.     ❜     her chest tightens with a familiar swell of displaced  anger.     ❛     they can’t tell me what t’ fuckin’ do.    screw that !    ‘n screw them.    they think they’re doin’ the world some kinda service when they’re really jus’  ruining  our goddamn lives !     ❜}

_{ORIGINALGRILLA.}

_{‘     mama dips is waitin’ on those  conjugal privileges.    don’t tell nobody.     ’}

_{speaking of old hags.    there’s a quick pause for effect ;   he shrugs,   nods,   flicking away his finished cigarette and watching it spark briefly against the pavement.}

_{‘     keep ‘em  scared,   keep ‘em controlled.    that ain’t nothin’ new.     ’       but it’s still something to consider.    he finally surrenders the pack,    with an addendum.       ‘     hey,   uh    —    don’t forget,   CPS is comin’ by first thing friday morning.    make sure i don’t got’cha chained to the radiator eatin’  bread crusts  or whatever.    and your ass  better  show up for this,   bullet.    clean ‘n sober.    you feel me ?     ’}

_{❛     wrap it ‘fore you  tap it,  playa.     ❜}

_{anxious to get that  nicotine  fix,  she seizes the pack and strikes it against the heel of her palm    (    once then twice,  three times    )    before peeling off the cellophane wrap.    can always tell by the  smell  if the cigarettes have been sitting on the shelves for too long.    these are fresh.}

_{pulls one out and fishes in her pockets for a light.    ignores the mention of  CPS  until her lungs are full of  smoke  and she’s feeling light.    airy on the buzz,  the rush of chemicals and toxins and whatever else is in these things.     ❛     you want me  dressed t’ the nines,  too ?    fuck.    i’m not gonna  forget.    think they’re  finally  gonna snatch my ass up ‘n put me in a group home ?     ❜}

_{she plays it off,  but the  last  thing bullet needs is to be uprooted from home    (    or rather,  the closest she has to one that isn’t just an old,  stained mattress in an abandoned building.    not ideal,  but it’s better than weathering the bitter cold this upcoming winter.    a lot better,  actually.    )}

_DEADHUNGER.

_{‘     that’s never really been my issue.     ’       1 - 800 - did she fucking ask ?    if he was chewing gum,   this is probably the part where he’d crack it between his  teeth    —    teeth that look deceptively  NORMAL  today.    pearly white.    nice and straight and  human.    for now.       ‘     hey,   i’m just returning what’s yours.    who pissed in your cornflakes this morning ?     ’}

_{❛     yeah,  whatever.    you ain’t packin’  shit  down them ugly - ass fuckin’  wranglers.    ‘s the reason yo’ lady was slummin’ it with  me  last night !     ❜     and a cornucopia of mental ailments that she  refuses  to consciously acknowledge.    she’s baiting him.    or in other words,  lying through her teeth.     ❛     i don’t fuckin’ like cornflakes,  ‘n i don’t fuckin’ like  you,  either.    back up off me,  dick.     ❜}

_{BLOODLETTERED.}

_{it’s  twisted   ——    &   she  hates  herself  for  it,      but  part  of  her  resents  her  younger  sister  for  this.       people  are  dying  without  a  choice  whether  or  not  they  get  to  live  their  life.      rachel  herself  almost  lost  her  life.     that  was  beyond  anyone’s  control  at  this  point;      so  to  see  her  do  something  so  seemingly  harmless  (    in  comparison    ),     yet  still  so  life-threatening,     by  CHOICE  made  audrey  angry.        she  survived;     why  wasn’t  she  THANKFUL  for  that?     the  worst  part  is  that  she  knows  she’s  still  a  target,      &     by  association,     rachel  will  never  truly  be  safe.      that  kills  her.       a  look  of  shock  is  sent  back  at  her,      &     she  quickly  shakes  her  head.       ❛    i  don’t  have  time  for  fun.    ❜        what  she  means:      she’s  too  busy  trying  to  save  her  friends  after  putting  them  in  this  situation  in  the  first  place.       even  if  piper  would  have  eventually  made  her  way  to  lakewood,      audrey  had  given  her  a  push.      ❛    people  are  DYING!     ❜       a  comeback  to  everything.       ❛   i  don’t  have  time  to  relax  or  to  have  fun  or  to  stop  thinking  about  this  because  it’s  only  going  to  keep  getting  worse,      &     i   almost  lost  YOU!      do  you  get  that?       i’m  not  okay  with  that!    ❜}

_{people are  dying.    she  knows,  and would like to think she has just as much of an  informed opinion  as her  sister,  but here’s the problem:    her friends aren’t the ones being lead like  lambs  to the slaughter.     ❛     you know that ain’t what i meant.     ❜     she’s not expecting audrey to  stop  thinking about other people.    knows her better than that,  even after  three years.    but she also knows the lengths she’ll go to if it means  protecting  the people  close  to her without realising she’s caught right between the crosshairs.    or maybe she  does,  and just doesn’t  care.     ❛     yeah,  but you  didn’t   –––   i’m still here.     ❜     emphasis on  here,  alive and breathing even though she feels a lot less.    a lot less something.    maybe not less of a person but less  deserving  to be when girls like  zoë vaughn,  her polar  opposite,  are buried six feet underground.    can’t imagine how  bitter  survivor’s guilt must taste to  emma duval.    how heavy the blame sits on audrey’s shoulders.     ❛     yo,  audrey,  chill  for a second.    you’re givin’ this  sick  psycho exactly what he freakin’ wants.    ‘n you know what ?    you’re gonna stretch yourself thin if you keep this  shit  up.    then you won’t be able t’ have  anyone’s  back ‘cause you’ll be all  locked up  in a psych ward or some shit ‘n throwin’ yourself against walls in a  straightjacket.    stop worryin’ ‘bout  me  ‘n everyone else ‘n think about you.    when’re you gonna stop fuckin’ blamin’ yourself ?    this ain’t your  fault.     ❜}

_{ORIGINALGRILLA.}

_{‘     oh,   snap !   only  block  i been up ‘n down’s the one i got all my options  linin’ up  on.     ’}

_{it’s an easy routine,   something they fell into the same day they met.    (   it’s a good thing.    means she isn’t  too far gone  yet.   )    he came prepared    —    knew she’d try to work him,   because she always does if given the chance,   and he pulls out an unopened pack of victories that he holds  just  out of reach.}

_{‘     since you  know how the game works,   how ‘bout you start talkin’.    ain’t got all day.     ’}

_{❛     yeah,  bet you  real  popular with them old  hags  in their forties who’re still sellin’ their shit for  crack.     ❜}

_{she  works him  because it’s  easy.    manipulating adults is a  cakewalk.    all you need is a bit of leverage or a good sob story.    she reaches out,  eagerly,  then scowls as the pack is  distanced  from her.    (    speaking of leverage.    )    arms fold across her chest,  chin raised.}

_{❛     dunno nothin’ ‘bout that.    probably not,  ‘cause it’s bad for  business,  yo !    unless that shit was premeditated or whatever.    her pimp could’a made her do it.    these low - rent punks might have  shit for brains,  but they know their girls’ll take the  fall  ‘cause they’re scared of what’ll happen to ‘em if they don’t.     ❜}

_{ORIGINALGRILLA.}

_{‘     i know you ain’t seen me on my  lunch break  chasin’ tail down skid row.    the fuck i look like ?     ’}

_{don’t answer that.    of course he’s kidding ;   but if nothing else,   you won’t find him paying for  dates  from trick - turning teenage girls.    he’s arrested people for less.}

_{he ashes his cigarette,   leans back against the side of his car.       ‘     so in your,   uh,   infinite wisdom,   you ever hear ‘bout a working girl who offs a john like this ?    ‘cause even if it  was  one of them  escorts,    li’l mama’s gonna need some help movin’ that body.     ’}

_{❛     nah,  ‘cause you been keepin’ it  low key.    think i don’t know how the game  works,  homeboy ?    you ‘n that pedo ‘stache probably been up ‘n down the  block.     ❜}

_{enjoys the banter,  the  back and forth  consisting mostly of  gibing remarks  at his expense.    being free to mock and ridicule.    he knows how to take a joke on a good day and doesn’t even  threaten  her on the bad.}

_{she eyes the cigarette.    pauses,  watching the smoke unfurl and climb to the skies and disappear.     ❛     maybe.    ain’t seein’ what’s in it for me if i tell you though.     ❜     went through the  whole pack  of cigarettes he’d given her just two days prior.    she’s  hurting.    can’t you tell ?}

_ENVISAS.

          whoever this is, she knows elliot, and tyrell is trying to make an effort to not immediately get off on the wrong foot with people elliot knows, lest he end up getting punched. it’s happened twice already, which is a fairly upsetting streak. right. be nice! be friendly! be approachable!

     ‘ i live here, you get out. ’  or don’t be any of that!

_{❛     like  hell  you do !    yo’ name on the lease ?    didn’t fuckin’ think so.    probably spent more on them threads than homeboy pays on his  rent.     ❜     she doesn’t know a thing about elliot’s rent and patrick bateman’s  apparel  probably doesn’t scream  versace  to anyone else but  her.}

_DEADHUNGER.

_{because he’s the eighth wonder of the world,   obviously.    it’s so cute when they try to play dumb    —    he could smell her panic that night.    gets off  on it.       ‘     you’re welcome.    so you didn’t tell anybody what you saw,   huh ?    that’s cool.    i probably wouldn’t.    i mean,   who’s gonna believe you ?     ’}

_{no one.    no one’s  believed  her for a long time,  about anything that’s  her word  versus someone else’s    (    the seattle police department thinks they’re all just crying wolf until the bodies are found.    )    heart jumps into her throat but she doesn’t let it show.    skinner  asked her the same question.     ❛     go  fuck  yourself,  limp dick.     ❜}

_{❛     yo,  elliot,  y’ got    ––––     ❜     not elliot.    knows before she even wheels around to face him,  wrist deep  in a mini bag of potato crisps.    (     she’d brought one for him too.    not  him,  as in the douchebag that looked like he just stepped out of  american psycho,  but elliot.    )    she hopes he’ll leave.     ❛     jehovah’s witnesses bustin’ down doors now ?    get the hell out !     ❜}     //  @envisas